This weekend, someone we know died. Someone we hope to know was born. Someone rolled to a "0" numbered birthday.
Someone we know lost a father. Someone gained a son. Life swirled around us as we watched and held our breath and waited. Both birth and death were long and slow, and probably very painful. We know the bare facts of each--none of the details.
But I am very happy for our friends who have a new son! I hope they are recovering from his arrival, and finding sleep where they can.
Beyond that, I feel like a bystander, watching the lifestream slip by. I've begun to doubt my choices, wonder if I'm more of a grasshopper than an ant, despite our ant-like diligence. Maybe we've been saving the wrong things. Grains of sand instead of food for the winter.
I know I'm not making sense to anyone else but me. But that's ok. Facing the gritty truths of life, death, and Big Birthdays will do that to a girl.