Tuesday, March 22, 2011

rude much?

If you happen to meet a neighbor on the way to the mailbox, and he makes an observation that your dog is "getting a little chunky, isn't she?" is it rude to punch him in the face?  I didn't think so.  Thanks for backing me up on that.

For the record, Ruby saw the vet week before last and hasn't gained an ounce in the last year. She's healthy, aside from what apparently is a small boulder of earwax in each ear.  All of those reading this over a meal or snack, you're welcome.

I don't know if I should be offended, amused, or what.  I mean, she's a dog. She's got three simple pleasures in life, but I'd say they rank, in order:

  1. Licking her privates.  Obvious, no explanation needed.
  2. Her soccer ball.  She loves to chase it, to nudge it under the couch. Sometimes she even climbs the stairs and drops it down them for herself.
  3. I mean, how sad is this?
  4. Mushrooms.  As someone who has dieted extensively I can promise you that this is nearly a no-calorie food, and I swear it is her favorite reward treat.  She'd rather have a mushroom stem than almost anything. Possibly even more than #1.
But I've got my back up over it.  I feel defensive. She's NOT FAT.  I mean, if she was we'd make sure she got more walks and ate less food. We would be responsible and proactive. But she isn't!  It was an odd moment. I wasn't sure what to say, but I did manage to let him know that the vet says she's normal, but that Ruby is gearing up for swimsuit season like the rest of us.

Obviously I'm internalizing this a bit--but seriously? Don't tell anyone their dog is fat. It's like saying someone's wife or child is fat.  Ok, maybe not exactly like that, but it's better said inside your head only.

Speaking of dogs, check this out.  And this.  Both will make you happy if you have animal love in your life. Wait, was that dirty? Eh. Enjoy.

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