Tuesday, June 27, 2006

a better version of me

On the bus this morning, I was thinking that wouldn't it be great if you could send off branches of yourself to live a different life? We were turning the corner to head over the bridge into downtown, and I was thinking about what my life would be like if I were single. Would I be living in one of the fabulous lofts that overlook downtown? Would I even be living here in Denver?

Don't get me wrong, I love Mr. Bump and I don't want to "find" myself, I just wish human experience (or more specifically, mine) were more multi-dimensional. It isn't that I want to me someone else. I want to be every other version of myself. One of me could be the Singleton about town. One of me could be the stay-at-home mom. One of me could be the busy working, married gal I am now. One of me would have stayed in California. Every once in a while these versions of me would get together for a drink or a coffee and talk about what they've been up to, filling the rest of us in on what each branch has led to. Then we could all kind of get to live all those choices.

I know it isn't terribly profound, but think about it. All the decisions you make could be simultaneous, rather than sequential. Sometimes I really wish I could sit down with former versions of myself and ask hard questions, make those versions really think about their choices. An opportunity passes and is gone. Wouldn't it be better if there was a version of you that had lived each possibility for you, and let you know how it had turned out?

And then, of course, there are times when all those versions of me just want to pull the covers over our collective heads and stay in bed.

Sometimes I imagine the different versions of me out there, buying their coffee, petting their cat (oh yes, there is a version out there who got a cat instead of Ms. Ruby Dog), pursuing other dreams, blogging other blogs. One of me is skinny. One of me is brave enough to flirt. One of me is a vagabond with no roots. It would be nice to meet me. It would be good to know me.


sasha said...

Someone's been watching too much Star Trek!

Mrs. Arnold said...

Mrs. Bump--

I know just how you feel. I just wish one version of you (any of them!) lived closer to me.