Monday, November 21, 2011

many things that bug me monday (and i know you care)

Actually, I'm fairly certain no one cares about what bugs me, but I'm going to share them with you anyway.  I was making up a list of these today at lunch with Mr. Bump and so I thought, why not write them all down and share them with you.  To the list!
  1. Glitter. Glitter cards, glitter gift bags, glitter everything. It invades your home and you find it everywhere, forever. FOREVER. Try to find a birthday card that doesn't have glitter on it. I dare you. God forbid you need one for a girl child. Christmas is a land mine. Everywhere is glitter from now until  the 7th of January.
  2. Vibram Five Fingers. I'm going to rope toe socks in here as well. I have a hard time with flip-flops, for that matter. I just don't like my happy little family of toes to be separated from each other. It makes me feel icky.
  3. Belts. Your belt is fine for you. But I don't like things around my middle. It might in part be because I'm a sloucher and it cuts at my belly button. But really, either your pants fit you or they don't.
  4. Literally. Generally when someone says this, they actually mean the opposite. It's also strangely contagious, like yawning.
  5. Partial dampness. I absolutely HATE it when I'm washing my hands and I get a sleeve wet, or when water runs down in your shoe and gets your sock wet. Or you splash water on your pants. True story: when we were in Iceland wandering around at the foot of a glacier, I got too close to someone else and we both sunk into the mud. That water was cold. Also, I just couldn't deal with a cold wet sock and foot so I hoofed it back to the car and waited there while everyone else climbed on the glacier. Some people still won't let that die, and that was in 2007.
  6. Turning nouns into verbs. Text is not a verb. It is a noun. You compose a text, you type a text, you write a text, you even send a text. But you do not text.
  7. People touching my face. This is just one of those places that seems very intimate and personal and I'd really rather you not touch it. Sometimes I have to suppress the urge to slap Mr. Bump's hand away when he touches it, and I love him. (Sorry hon.) I've never had a facial. I practically have to take a valium when I have my eyebrows done. But needs must, people. I do that for you.
  8. The space challenged. You know the people who take up almost the entire aisle in the Whole Foods. Cart parked in the middle at an angle that makes it impossible to get by. And they always seem to be staring intently at something above them, but facing away from you so they aren't able to acknowledge your existence.
  9. Bad smells. I'm pretty sensitive to smell. If someone has been toking up before they get on the bus, and they sit down anywhere near me, I'll be nauseous before the bus makes its first turn. In downtown Denver on the 16th Street Mall there is an Aveda training salon that smells very very Aveda-y. Oils and essences, an herbal explosion. In the summer, the hot garbage smell drifting out of the alley next to the Aveda school mixes with the herbal essence explosion that makes for a smell that... ack. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit thinking about it. Moving on.
  10. I really want to have a tenth thing just so it comes out to ten but I can't think of anything right now. I'll update later if something comes to me.  Not having a tenth thing bugs me. There you go.
Ok, tell me what bugs you? Does anyone share my crazy?

1 comment:

DBump said...

People who aren't bugged by anything are a little creepy, and frankly, suspect.